


Imprint

by babystellagibson



Category: The Fall (TV), The Fall (UK 2013)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-17
Updated: 2016-01-17
Packaged: 2018-05-14 12:48:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,788
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5744416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/babystellagibson/pseuds/babystellagibson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set three months after the events at the end of Series 2 of The Fall. Stella x Dani.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

‘Honestly, I don’t know why she’s still got us out here. He’s obviously a vegetable. It’s been more than three months. If you ask me, it’s a waste of police resources!’ blathers Grantham.

‘Shh!,’ Hagstrom exhales sharply, inclining her head at the glass doors to their left. Stella Gibson pushes through, and saunters towards them in all her glory. Tight black pencil skirt, pale peach silk shirt, sky-high heels.

‘Anything new to report?’ she asks.

‘Not really ma’am. We turned away the Benedetto girl again today, kicking and screaming as usual.’

‘Perhaps we should look into a restraining order,’ she murmurs, peering through the glass into the hospital room of the man she spent months hunting, now no more responsive than a cabbage. 

‘Stella,’ Jim’s voice startles her. He seems to enjoy sneaking up on her. ‘Can I talk to you for a moment?’ he asks. She doesn’t meet his gaze, but gestures towards Spector’s room. They enter together, leaving the guards to resume the conversation they thought she couldn’t hear. ‘Look,’ says Jim, peering over at Spector. 

He lies, lifeless, eyes closed and eyelids still. But he is still, according to the doctors, very much alive. His wounds have healed well. The problem is, he lost so much blood at the scene that he slipped into a coma, and they’ve been entirely unable to get him out of it. 

‘Still the same,’ Stella muses, staring over him, listening to gentle whirr of the machines keeping him alive. She is absolutely determined to see him face his trial. 

‘Yes, exactly. Don’t you think it’s time we gave up on this? He’s obviously not going to wake up, Stella.’ he says, placing his hands on her upper arms and attempting to catch her gaze. She refuses to look him in the eye, shrugging him off and walking over to Spector’s bedside.

‘Absolutely not. We are not giving up. He will wake up. He will face what he has done. For him to simply die now would be such a gross injustice, I can’t even think of it. He deserves to wither away in prison, thinking about what he’s done, and most importantly, he deserves to watch his daughter grow up and begin to understand what he has done. He deserves to see the fear of every woman he so brutally murdered reflected in her eyes. He cannot die now.’

‘Stella-‘

‘Didn’t you hear Dr. Singh yesterday? She said that he’s retained exceptional muscle tone in spite of the coma. That his body is physically still in good health. That has to be a good sign. I don’t believe that he’s going to die.’

‘Stella, the decision has already been handed down to mark the case inactive - just until he wakes up, or dies. We’ll be removing guard services at the end of this shift.’ says Jim, wincing a little as the words come out. Stella whips around, and now she meets his gaze.

‘Handed down? Surely it would be your decision?’ 

‘I’m under pressure, Stella. We really need Grantham and Hagstrom back out on the street. Not to mention the rest of the team. We’re strained for resources as it is, without the added time and money we’re spending here.’

‘So what, then, Jim? That’s it? We just leave it? Leave him to die?’ she turns back to Spector, looking down at his expressionless face with contempt.

‘What else can we do, at this point? Either he dies, or he wakes up, but either way he’s not going anywhere whilst he’s in a coma, so we’re just going to have to wait it out. All the resources, all the people on Music Man are sorely needed elsewhere. You know as well as I do the state of things out there since Jimmy Tyler’s death.’ Jim’s tone is pleading, and he reaches out to touch Stella’s arm. Again, she shrugs him off, and says nothing. ‘I’m sorry, Stella. It’s just the way it’s got to be,’ 

She remains silent, so he eventually sighs and turns on his heel, casting one last longing look at the back of her head, those golden curls grazing her shoulders so gracefully. Of course, this means that she’ll be returning to London, which is not something he wants.

Stella turns and watches as Jim speaks with Grantham and Hagstrom. She thinks back to the last moments that Spector was conscious. He had stared right into her eyes, his blood pulsing in great waves through her fingers as she tried to stop his wounds bleeding, and muttered two words repeatedly until his eyes rolled back in his head. ‘Stella… Gibson… Stella… Gibson… Stella…’ 

‘Ma’am?’ 

‘Yes?’ she hadn’t even noticed Hagstrom enter the room. 

‘Constable Burns just let us know what’s happening. I’m sorry to hear it, ma’am.’ 

‘I’m sure you’ll be glad to be off guard duty,’ says Stella, her voice measured, soft. 

‘Not really. I was speaking to PC Ferrington yesterday, and it sounds as though patrol is an absolute nightmare at the moment. Cars getting pelted with rocks, unprovoked attacks on officers… you’re lucky you’ll be off back to London.’ 

‘I suppose I am.’


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * * indicates a change of location, or the passing of time

Paul Spector opens his eyes. Very, very, very slowly. He stares at the ceiling, and he waits. Waits for a sound. By his count, he should be exactly at the blind spot now. Between one and two in the morning, the staff try to get the ward quiet for patients trying to sleep, and as such, many take their breaks. The guards outside his room are changed at exactly one in the morning. There used to be no time in between changeover, but as time has gone by, the guards have gotten sloppy, stopping for a coffee or chatting to the guards who were on duty before them. They don’t think he’s ever going to wake up. As such, this has allowed him time for a limited amount of exercise. Initially, he would find himself with just a few minutes, but lately, the gaps between guards have sometimes been up to half an hour, giving him free reign to keep up his fitness. Tonight, there will be no new guards. A smile cracks across his face like an egg, and the feeling is odd to him. It’s been a while since he’s smiled. 

Once he’s sure that the guards are gone, he takes his opportunity. Stealthily, he slips out of the room, and heads straight for a supply closet, where, as luck would have it, he finds a box full of blue scrubs in neat plastic packets. He carefully removes and folds his hospital gown before putting on the scrubs. Next, shoes. This is problematic. 

He slinks through the corridor inconspicuously, passing a couple of unsuspecting nurses along the way, checking the signage on the doors until he finds what he needs. The break room. Sure enough, a man in scrubs is asleep on the bottom bunk of one of the beds, his trainers set on the floor beside the bed. No stranger to creeping quietly around sleeping or otherwise unaware people, Paul lifts the trainers. He carefully presses one against the sole of his foot, testing the size. A little too big, but too big is better than too small. These will do. 

* * *

Stella steps out of the shower in Tom Anderson’s central Belfast flat, dabbing at her hair with a towel and gazing at herself in the mirror. Continuing her sexual relationship with him has been easy. No repeated calls or inappropriate pictures from him. They arrange a time, meet, fuck, maybe discuss Music Man a little, and then say goodbye. It suits them both. Still, it probably lost its allure after about three times for her, but it was easier to continue it than to stop it, and it met her needs. She doesn’t feel any emotion towards him, and it doesn’t bother her that she may never see him again after tonight. She only has a mild concern that he may ask her to keep in touch, which really, would just be awkward. 

Dealing with the psyches of highly intelligent criminals has always been a slow, arduous process, almost a labour of love; carefully peeling away the layers of these people, discovering more about what makes them tick, gathering evidence, gathering knowledge, hunting them. In the process, normal people have become all too predictable for Stella, all too easy to know. Especially men. Women are a little more complex, which is why she generally steers clear of them romantically. Occasionally, she can’t control her urge to digress. Case in point: Reed, and look how that went. 

* * * 

Getting out of the hospital was far too easy. All he had to do was wander through the corridors of the hospital holding on to a chart he had lifted from another patient's room, yawning and rubbing his eyes, and not one member of staff bothered to look up at him, to question who he was. They were all on autopilot. 

Now, he stands over the recycling bin in the empty kitchen of the Hilton Hotel, where he’s heard the guards speak about her staying. He sifts through the discarded order papers, searching for her name, until finally, he finds it. This is it. He finally has her.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * * indicates a change of location, or the passing of time

Tom watches as Stella puts back on the clothes he had fervently removed from her lithe body only an hour ago. He’s sad that she’s leaving, but he’s not stupid enough to think that there’s any use in telling her that. 

‘Looking forward to getting back to your own house?’ he tries.

‘Yes, I'm certainly looking forward to sleeping in my own bed.’ 

‘Where in London do you live?’ he asks, gratified by her previous response.

‘Southwark.’ she replies. 

‘Oh yeah? Maybe I’ll come visit some time.’ he says, and he instantly regrets it as he watches her freeze on the spot and visibly wince. 

‘Tom…’ she looks at him, and the look says it all. 

‘I get it. I’m just your Belfast plaything. The offer doesn’t extend to the mainland.’ he says it coolly, without emotion. She smiles at him, then walks over, leans down and plants a kiss on his lips. 

‘Goodbye, DS Anderson,’ she smiles, and with that, she’s walking out of the door.

* * *

Paul smirks to himself when he finds Stella’s hotel room empty. 

‘Oh, Stella,’ he murmurs to himself ‘you dirty stop out.’ He makes a beeline for her her suitcase, which lies neatly packed on the floor next to the bed. It doesn’t take him long to find her underwear. He rifles through it. It all matches, of course. Lilac lace, white lace with a neat, dusty pink trim, black lace, cream, even red… yes, red. He holds the red knickers up in the air, smiling at them. Then, he lays them out at the end of the bed, along with the bra. He returns to the suitcase, and rifles through her toiletries until he finds it. That red nail polish. He places that neatly above the bra. He can’t wait to see her face, when she discovers what he’s left out for her. He prepares a gag and wrist and ankle binds from what he can find, then scopes out a hiding place. His blood is boiling, not with rage, but rather an excitement so intense, it threatens to overwhelm him. It’s been so long, and this one will be so special. He takes a few deep breaths, then assumes his position in the wardrobe. No sooner than he closes the wardrobe door, he hears the sound of the key card being swiped. This is it.

She saunters in languidly, sighing as she drops her handbag on a chair, steps out of her heels and moves towards the bed. She looks up, and then she freezes. Her gaze is fixed on the underwear on the bed, the nail varnish sitting above it. The tool she had used to provoke Spector now being used against her, to make her heart thump in her chest like a jackhammer, to push all her senses right up beneath her skin, every nerve ending now hyper sensitive. A harrowing realisation sets in: she doesn’t have her gun.

She curses herself for having handed her gun back in earlier that day. Her flight back to London is already booked for tomorrow morning, and she hadn’t thought even for a second that she would need the gun overnight. How stupid she was. What a monumental mistake. But one thought gives her a small amount of hope: surely this can’t have been Spector? Even if he had woken up, he wouldn’t yet be able to walk, atrophy would most definitely have set in over the course of three months… did Katie Benedetto do this? Why? Surely it can’t possibly be Spector? She spins around, scoping out the room in terror as her fingers push her phone to speed dial Spector’s regular night nurse.

‘Is he there?’

‘Sorry… who?’ a tired voice on the other end of the line asks. 

‘Spector!’ she hisses, her eyes darting around the room. 

‘Yes of course he’s… oh my god… oh my god…’

‘What. WHAT!?’ 

‘He’s gone.’


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * * indicates a change of location, or the passing of time

Paul chooses his moment now. He bursts out of the closet, and Stella’s fingers are already working her phone at speed to call for help, but he’s faster. He knocks the phone out of her hand and is immediately met with a sharp blow to the side of his head from her other hand. 

‘Ohhh,’ he laughs, staring down at her. She’s so tiny without her giant heels. She goes to strike another blow, but he grabs hold of her arms tight before she can. ‘Little Stella. Little scared Stella. Little, scared, sexy Stella.’ She brings her knee up sharply, and he jumps back just in time to avoid the blow. She might be trained in self defence, but so is he. Women’s self defence, to be particular. He has, of course, researched it at length, and he counters every single move she makes with ease. She is fit and strong, and she fights hard, even managing to land a few punches. But he has the advantage of size and male strength on top of knowledge, and she is no match for him. He wrestles her down to the floor and stuffs a rolled up pair of her tights in her mouth, pinning her down, loving every second of her writhing beneath him. They struggle and wrestle and writhe and pant, and when it’s all over - when he has her wrists and ankles bound - she goes still. 

She looks up into the eyes of the serial killer she thought she had caught, as every other one of his victims have. But she does not look at him pleadingly. She does not cry or whimper. She simply stares him square in the face, as if to say ‘Fuck you, I am not afraid.’ But she is afraid. She’s terrified. She has never experienced such abject terror in all her life, and she knows that this is it. This is the end. She is livid, absolutely seething, beyond furious. How unfair that men, with their brutish minds and tendencies, should have evolved to be stronger. She’s never had the desire to hurt anyone, only to help. How unfair that she’s smaller than he is. Well, if this is it, she’s not going to give him what he wants. She turns her gaze away, her body still. He lifts her up, tenderly, as if he were carrying his new bride off to their honeymoon, and places her on the bed. Like a doll. Absolutely helpless. She is all at once wracked with the desire to try to scream through the gag, to squirm and writhe and fight for her life, but she knows that’s what he wants. That’s what he takes pleasure in. The pain, the struggle, the fear. She’s not going to give it to him. 

Her stillness doesn’t slow him down. He straddles her, and places his hands around her throat. ‘I’m particularly going to enjoy squeezing the life out of you, Stella,’ he says, and he begins to put pressure on her windpipe. It is a horrible, unbearable feeling, the weight on her throat. She does her utmost not to react, and he presses harder. She fights the urge to struggle with all the will she has, and her head starts to spin. Then, he loosens his grip. The trademark prolonged strangulation. She’s almost glad of it, if she could be glad of anything in this moment. She avoids his gaze. ‘Look at me,’ he commands. She doesn’t oblige. ‘I said LOOK AT ME!’ He grabs her head forcefully and turns it to face his own, moving closer to her. Then, he does something out of the ordinary. He kisses her cheek. She is so repulsed that she cannot control herself, and begins to squirm, trying to turn her head away, but he holds it there, laughing, planting more and more kisses, all over her face. Now she tries to scream. His hands are at her throat again, squeezing tightly. He stares down at her with pure contempt and pleasure, and she feels her consciousness start to slip. No, no, no. She doesn’t want to die.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * * indicates a change of location, or the passing of time

‘HANDS IN THE AIR, NOW!’ a familiar voice pierces the air like a knife. ‘OR I WILL SHOOT YOU IN THE FUCKING HEAD!’ 

PC Dani Ferrington’s gun is pressed up against Paul Spector’s temple. He releases Stella’s neck and slowly raises his hands, a sick smile on his face. Her partner, who Stella doesn’t know, has Spector in cuffs before she can even catch her breath, and is pulling him off of her. Ferrington’s gun never leaves Spector’s temple. Stella turns her head to look, and is almost scared by the ferocious and intense look in Ferrington’s eyes. Her whole body is tense, determined, set. She is absolutely furious. Clearly driven by emotion, but easily stronger than any other person in the room. 

‘On the ground,’ says Ferrington, ‘Keep him down, call for backup’ she directs her partner, and watches to make sure there’s no way Spector can get up. Then, sure that the situation is under control, she turns her attention to Stella. Their eyes meet, and it is, without a doubt, the strangest role reversal of Stella’s entire life. Dani Ferrington is fierce and unbreakable, a beacon of hope, Stella’s lifeline, her saviour, the reason she’ll live another day. Stella is helpless, hopeless, compromised, and at the mercy of everyone else in the room, for the first time ever. Dani Ferrington, the young PC she saw potential in and brought on board her investigation, the young PC who constantly sought her approval, is pulling the gag out of her mouth. Dani Ferrington is rescuing her from her death. A hot rush of love for Dani saturates her soul, completely involuntary and entirely intense. ’Can you speak?’ she asks. Stella tries. 

‘Y-y-es,’ she manages shakily, her voice raspy, her throat aching horribly, sharply. She realises that hot, fat tears are rolling down her cheeks. 

‘I’m going to sit you up, so I can unbind your wrists, okay?’ says Dani, and Stella nods. She is pulled up gently, and Dani moves behind her to unbind her wrists. Her partner is speaking to their colleagues on the radio, backup is on the way. Stella’s arms are freed, and the first thing they do, absolutely involuntarily, is throw themselves around Dani as, equally involuntarily, great sobs begin to heave from her chest. All Stella can think about is how wonderful this woman is, in all her goodness, her sweetness, her desire to always do right. All Stella can do is cry. She is desperate to regain her composure, to shrug it off as nothing, continue on with her measured, calm exterior, but all she can do is sob uncontrollably into Dani’s shoulder, clinging tightly to her waist. ‘Shh, it’s okay,’ Dani soothes her, and she tentatively moves her hand up to stroke Stella’s hair. She’s still her boss, after all, but instinct overtakes convention and they sit there, Dani soothing Stella and stroking her hair, Stella unable to get a hold of herself. She thought she was going to die. She really thought she was going to die. She really would have died, if it hadn’t been for Dani. 

Four PCs burst into the room and escort Spector out. He turns and stares at Dani with a demented smile, and Dani stares right back at him with all the resolve in the world. She is not afraid of him. She and Stella are left alone, the only sound now the quiet, muffled sobs emanating from Stella.

‘We’ve got to get you to hospital, ma’am,’ says Dani, still stroking Stella’s hair. She speaks into her radio, enquiring about the ambulance. One is waiting outside. She asks for a stretcher. 

‘A-a-absolutely NOT!’ Stella squeals hoarsely, her voice not her own, her throat hurting terribly. ‘I-I will not leave… this h-hotel… on a stretcher,’ 

‘But-‘

‘NO!’ Stella rasps, her grip around Dani’s waist tightening. ‘I will walk,’ 

‘If you’re sure you can,’ Dani says softly, and Stella can’t see the tiny smile that tweaks Dani’s lips. She’s still unequivocally Stella Gibson, even at the edge of death.

After unbinding her ankles, she carefully pulls Stella up, and, slowly, one woman supporting the other, they walk out of the hotel together to the ambulance. 

* * *

Dani sits next to the hospital bed, her eyes almost giving up on her. It’s nearly 4:30 in the morning, and she should have been done with her shift two hours ago. She and her partner had been headed back to the station to drop off the car when they’d heard the call for backup come from Stella. Thankfully, they had been close to the hotel, and Dani had pulled a full u-turn across the road, forcing the driver on the other side to swerve out of the way, and sped to the scene. How lucky, that they were so close by. The image of Stella, bound and gagged, terrified, is burned into her mind. It makes her feel sick to her stomach, beyond uncomfortable. It makes her want to hold on to Stella, to hold her until the memory is gone forever. She wishes there was some way she could erase what had happened, for both of them. 

She has waited whilst the doctors conducted a series of examinations and tests, and it transpires that Stella was extremely lucky to have been rescued when she was - before any permanent damage was done. It’s apparently a wonder she can still speak, if extremely hoarsely. Dani thinks this is a testament to her strength. 

‘Ma’am,’ DC McNally is hovering the doorway, looking quite tired herself. ‘How are you feeling?’ 

‘How do you think I’m feeling?’ Stella rasps, pushing herself up to sitting position. 

‘I know you’re probably exhausted, but… I’ve been sent to interview you, because-’ 

‘Yes, I know. It’s important to get an account as soon as possible. Come in.’

‘I should go-‘ Dani starts. Stella visibly seizes up, then seems to force herself to soften. 

‘I’d like you to stay.’ she says, without a hint of emotion. Dani looks at McNally, who looks back at her and shrugs a little. 

‘I don’t suppose it matters.’ says McNally, and she takes the seat on the other side of Stella’s bed. They start the interview process, and Dani listens in absolute terror as Stella recounts what happened. She hates Spector, she wishes she could have been there sooner, she wishes she could have stopped the whole thing. When Stella recounts her rescue, she omits the part where Dani clearly remembers screaming that she would shoot Spector in the fucking head. Instead, she uses the standard phrase PCs are meant to say when holding a gun on criminal. Dani is at once touched by the protection, and fearful that Spector will say otherwise. But then, she supposes, he really doesn’t have a leg to stand on. 

When the interview is over, McNally leaves and they sit in silence, both tortured by what’s happened. Then, Stella reaches out and takes Dani’s hand, interlocking their fingers, squeezing tight. Dani wants to ask if she’s okay, but she knows that would be stupid. So instead, she says nothing at all, and eventually, they both fall asleep, hands still intertwined.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * * indicates a change in location, or the passing of time

Stella glances at her phone. Another missed call from Tom Anderson. She hasn’t spoken to him, other than in an official capacity at work, since the attack. For some reason, she really doesn’t want to. She doesn’t want to hear how he wishes he’d been there, or she’d stayed longer at his flat, or how sorry he is that this happened to her, or how much he hates Spector. She just doesn’t want to hear any of it. 

It’s been two weeks. Physically, Stella is back to normal. Spector is in solitary confinement, under lockdown, guarded 24/7. He has once again refused to speak through every interview. McNally further arrested him for another attempted murder, and apparently he just sat there grinning. Stella cannot bring herself to monitor his interviews. 

Jim walks into her office, his demeanour reminiscent of a small dog with his tail between his legs. Stupid, stupid, stupid Jim, whose rash decision almost cost her her life. He had visited her in hospital with an obscenely sized bouquet of flowers, tears streaming down his face and apologies streaming out of his mouth. She had waved him away, said he wasn’t to know, that it wasn't his fault. She thought there would be no point torturing him with it, since he was so visibly wracked with guilt he could barely string a sentence together. 

‘Stella,’ he says, standing with his arms hanging loosely by his sides. 

‘Yes?’ she looks up at him briefly, then back to the papers on her desk she is organising. 

‘We have a full confession from Spector, about… the attempted murder. We’ve got it all. We can proceed with the full prosecution.’ 

‘Good,’ she says, not looking up. The past two weeks have been the most emotionally excruciating of her life. Everybody looking at her with that same sad and sympathetic look, as if she were pathetic, asking her if she’s okay, asking if she wants to talk about it. It’s absolutely degrading and completely invasive. The very last thing she wants to do is talk about it. If anything, all she wants is to repress it, push it down, pretend like it never happened. Spector doesn’t deserve her emotional anguish, doesn’t deserve to have traumatised her. The very last thing she wants is for anyone to see her as weak.

But, she cannot ignore that she has been crumbling inside. At night she is haunted by recurring dreams of the event, sometimes waking up screaming or crying. She curses herself for this, and then writes her dreams down, unable to break the habit. If she were speaking to another victim, she would tell them that this reaction is a perfectly normal psychological response to such a situation, that there’s nothing wrong with them, that it’s okay, that they need to talk to someone. But she doesn’t want to lose face, especially not at work, never in front of her colleagues. She has done everything in her power to avoid Dani, cringing to the point of nausea every time she remembers clinging to her and sobbing. Dani, her heroine, the reason for her continued life, who also haunts her dreams every night now, sometimes a bright light, sometimes an angel, sometimes just holding on to her. Stella wakes up in the middle of the night pining for her so much that her chest aches, which of course she finds to be completely dreadful and inconvenient. To this end, it’s been easier to just avoid Dani. She has even hidden, a few times, to avoid passing her in the corridors of their headquarters. When they have to interact, she is cool and measured, and mentions nothing of the incident. Stella feels guilty, but she isn’t ready to talk about it. Not yet. She just has to get through this, get Spector behind bars, and then she can rest. Then she can process what’s happened. Grieve. 

Jim clears his throat. ‘Oh, are you still here?’ she says, tonelessly. 

‘Stella… what’s going on in your mind? You refuse to speak about the attack-‘ he is cut off by the sight of Stella holding her hand up in the air.

‘Please leave,’ she says, and he has to oblige.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * * indicates a change in location, or the passing of time

Dani stares across the room at Stella, a great melancholiness encompassing her. Stella has not thanked her once for what happened, and has barely acknowledged her presence since that night. It’s completely ridiculous. She watches Stella head for the bathroom, and makes what she knows is a rash decision: she follows her in. She already knows she's not going to get what she's looking for, but it's worth a try. She watches silently as Stella leans over the sink, her arms locked at its edges, and heaves a great big sigh. 

‘Ma’am,’ she says, and Stella starts, jerking her head around.

‘Dani,’ she replies curtly, nodding, having snapped immediately back to full composure. 

‘I was just… well I was just wondering how you’re feeling… it’s just that-’

‘I’m fine!’ she snaps, avoiding meeting those warm, sea green eyes with her own at all costs. She feels compelled to cross the room and throw herself into Dani’s arms. Her body aches for the warmth of the other woman’s, the comfort of her. She curses herself inwardly. 

‘Well you haven’t spoken about it since-’

‘PC Ferrington, is there a reason for you to be in this bathroom other than to pester me? If not, then please leave,’ her words are marked, precise, her face contorted into a scowl. Dani lingers for a moment, clearly hurt and confused, then turns on her heel and pushes out of the bathroom. It’s as if it never happened. She understands why Stella might push everyone else away, but not her. She worries for her, she wonders how she’s dealing with it. Is she really as fine as this steely apparition she’s projecting of herself? If so, she’s a stronger woman than Dani. Dani knows without a doubt that she would be a wreck, had it been the other way around.

* * * 

Stella sits in her bed in her new hotel, staring into nothing, listening to her own thoughts, processing them, letting them pass. She tries a technique she once learned, where you imagine yourself as detached from your thoughts, just watching them flow by like a river. Swimming has been very soothing, but there is only so much swimming she can do before her body tires. She thinks about her interaction with Dani earlier that day, and feels terrible. She is paralysed by her own fear of weakness. A knock at the door startles her out of her head, and she jumps up. 

‘Who is it?’ she asks.

‘It’s me,’ Tom’s voice comes through the door. ‘Can I please come in?’ 

She sighs, and opens the door. ‘What’s going on? I haven’t been able to get hold of you since… what happened. I’ve been worried. I can’t believe-’

‘Please don’t,’ she says, holding her hand up in the same manner she had with Jim. 

‘I feel terrible, Stella, I really do,’ he advances towards her, his facial expression soft, arms outstretched. He clearly wants to hold her. She finds herself sick to her stomach, repulsed somehow by this man wanting to comfort her, and she shoves him, hard. He stares at her, stunned, his mouth wide open. She realises at once that he reminds her too much of Spector, and before, it was a point to prove, some kind of domination, but now... it just makes her sick to her stomach. 

‘I’m sorry, Tom. I can’t.’ she pushes him out of the door and closes it, waits until she's sure he's gone, then crumples into a mess on the floor. When is this going to stop?


	8. Chapter 8

Stella leads the final team meeting the next day without a hint of emotion. The team are disbanding; everyone heading back to their respective day to day duties. She discusses the prosecution, thanks everyone for their hard work, speaks only about reaching justice for Alice, Fiona, Sarah, Joe and Annie, as if Spector as if he had never attacked her, too. The entire team stare at her silently as she speaks, and she hates the collective look on all of their faces. She avoid Dani’s eyes in particular. 

‘You’ve all done great work here with me, and I have no doubt that you will all continue to serve and protect the people of Northern Ireland with the amazing strength of character and ability I’ve seen in all of you. No doubt you will see me around as the prosecution continues, but if you don’t, I wish you all, all the best for the future.’ she nods that she is finished, and everyone applauds politely. As everyone gets up and begins to gather their things, she quietly slips out of the back door.

She stands out in the cold, leaning over the railing on the steps down to the street, taking deep breaths, letting her thoughts pass and flow, as she had the night before.

‘Ma’am,’ 

She turns, and Dani is standing there, arms folded. ‘I know I’m speaking out of turn here, but I just can’t understand how you can act like nothing’s happened.’ 

Stella heaves a great sigh, turns her back to Dani, and stares up at the clouds. Her eyes sting a little from the light. ‘Because he doesn’t deserve my pain, Dani,’ 

‘It’s just that…’ Dani trails off, doubting whether she should say this. She knows it’s wrong, but her emotions are getting the better of her, and it’s all over, she’ll barely see Stella now anyway, so she has nothing to lose.

‘What?’ Stella turns back, and finally meets her eyes for the first time since the attack. That piercing, icy gaze. 

‘You haven’t even thanked me, not once. You won’t talk to me, and you won’t look at me. I don’t understand.’ 

Stella silently regards the woman standing before her, her eyes shining, her expression a mixture of confusion and anger and sadness, arms folded tightly, standing straight. So sweet, so honest, so righteous. She takes a few steps towards her subordinate, then pulls her tightly folded arms apart. They fall loose at her sides, and her expression softens to simple confusion and curiosity, and then Stella does something that she knows is entirely wrong, but her body is driving now, not her brain. Her hands slide into Dani’s soft red hair hair, and she pulls her into a sweet, passionate kiss. It takes a few moments for Dani’s shock to pass and for what’s happening to set in, but the second it does her hands are on Stella’s waist, pulling their bodies together, and she’s kissing her back. For Dani, the gratification of the beautiful woman who she has secretly admired for months on end suddenly kissing her is all-consuming. It seems it’s over just as quickly as it has begun, Stella pulling away, her hands on Dani’s cheeks, then not anymore, her gaze as piercing as ever. She leans in close and whispers in Dani’s ear.

‘Thank you,’ 

And then she slides past, back into the building, leaving Dani standing out in the cold, quite unable to close her mouth.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> * * * indicates a change of location or the passing of time

Dani stares absently into her cup of tea, replaying the events of that afternoon over and over again. The softness of Stella’s lips, the way her hands felt in her hair, the complete and utter surprise of the entire thing. Why did she do it? Dani has watched her take men to bed, surely she’s as straight as they come? Dani feels guilty, hoping Stella didn’t feel like she had to do it. No… that’s not the way she operates. Did she do it just to throw her off? To confuse her? To stop her pestering? She can’t make sense of it. Her phone buzzes loudly on the counter, and it makes her jump, spilling her tea. 

‘Shit,’ she says, dabbing at it with a tea towel with one hand and picking up the phone with another. The caller ID shows that it’s Stella. Her eyes widen. ‘Hello?’ 

‘Hi, Dani. I hope I’m not disturbing you.’

‘No, ma’am, I was just… having a cup of tea.’ Dani cringes inwardly at the lameness of that statement. 

‘So you’re not busy?’

‘No,’

‘Will you come to my hotel?’ 

‘I, uh-‘

‘Dani…’ the line goes silent. 

‘Are you still there?’

‘I… need you. Will you please come to my hotel?’ 

* * *

Dani takes a very deep breath, and slowly exhales it, before knocking on the door. Stella opens it, and she’s wearing a silk dressing gown which is falling open slightly, revealing her black lace bra and ample cleavage. Dani averts her eyes, not knowing quite where to look. The sight of Dani standing there awkwardly at her door, at her behest, gives Stella a feeling of control she hasn’t felt since the attack. 

‘Come in,’ she says, smiling, and she makes her way to the bed and sits down. Dani follows. ‘Sit,’ she says, patting the bed beside her. They sit beside each other for a moment, Dani looking away, Stella staring at her intently. ‘Dani,’ she says, and Dani looks at her. ‘I am sorry, that I didn’t thank you. For saving my life.’ 

‘It’s alright…’

‘No, it’s not alright,’ she takes Dani’s hands in hers. ‘If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be sitting here. I’d be lying on a slab in the morgue, the life strangled out of me by that foul, evil man. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t be alive. You were brave, and strong, and amazing. Thank you.’ she says, her voice soft and even, her expression sincere. Dani feels a hot blush creep up her neck, and curses her red hair. ‘And thank you for holding me, and for staying with me at the hospital through the tests, and for holding my hand until I fell asleep. You gave me exactly what I needed.’ she squeezes Dani’s hands, and Dani smiles gingerly. She might have been brave and strong and amazing before, but right now she feels about as able as a potato. ‘I’m sorry for avoiding you after the attack. Truthfully, I didn’t know how to face you, after what you did for me.’ Dani smiles, touched by this beautiful woman’s honesty. 

‘You kissed me,’ Dani says quietly.

Stella takes a deep breath, a smile tweaking her lips. ‘Yes, I did…’ 

‘I’m confused,’ says Dani, looking up from her lap.

‘How so?’

‘Aren’t you straight?’

Stella smiles, and then she leans over and places a gentle, lingering kiss on Dani’s neck, before standing up and moving in front of Dani, placing her hands on her cheeks and looking down at her sweetly. ‘You are everything that is good and right and beautiful in this world, Danielle Ferrington.’ she says, and then she kisses her. Dani lies back, pulling Stella down with her, and the kiss deepens, and Stella moves her body against Dani’s, causing a small moan to escape her lips. She breaks the kiss and sits herself up, straddling Dani, looking down at her with an intense kind of expression that Dani has never seen on her before. She tugs at Dani’s clothes, deftly peeling off each item one by one, until she finds herself completely naked. 

Stella regards the woman beneath her, her creamy, porcelain-like skin, her body soft in places and sculpted in others, her hair deliciously red and her eyes emerald green and sparkling with desire, and she feels more at peace than she has in months, even before the attack. As long as she’s in control. She moves down and kisses Dani’s lips, her neck, her breasts, her tongue encircling one small pink nipple, and then another, and then her kisses are travelling down Dani’s stomach, and sharp little whimpers are escaping Dani’s lips because she know what’s coming, and then Stella’s lips are against her inner thighs, and they are so juicy and soft, she can’t help but bite them, just lightly. Dani moans deeply, and Stella takes the cue to continue, to bite a little harder, sending Dani into a frenzy. She pulls away, just for a second, to look at Dani’s face, eyes closed, contorted with pleasure. Her eyes flicker open and they stare at each other for a second, intensely, allowing their desire for each other to saturate the moment. Then, Stella moves down, and Dani’s body betrays her, her hips pushing upwards, a soft and deep moan pushing itself out of her lips as Stella sets to work on bringing her into what she already knows will be the best climax of her life. She grips the bedsheets, Stella’s head, her own thighs, trying to get a hold on anything, because she feels as though she’ll float upwards if she doesn’t. Then, when she’s got Dani at the very edge, Stella moves upwards, pressing her body into Dani’s, kissing her, then pulling away slightly, so that she can stare right into Dani’s eyes as she brings her to a climax with just her fingertips. She feels Dani’s body shaking and jerking uncontrollably, watches her struggle to breathe, smiling slightly with pride at Dani’s reaction to her, although of course she’s always been good at this, because she’s working with something she knows inside out. Dani’s eyes close and her mouth opens, and her entire body goes into uncontrollable spasms as it happens, and Stella is holding her down, still going, pulling her deeper into the pleasure. A gloriously loud moan escapes Dani’s lips, and she throws her arms around Stella, pulling her close, kissing her hard, writhing against her still. 

‘Oh, god,’ Dani breathes into the ear of her boss, who has just fucked her better than any other girl she’s ever been with. She feels incredulous at the whole situation and entirely overwhelmed by pleasure. Stella relaxes a little by her side, trailing her fingers up and down her stomach, smiling jubilantly. ‘I never thought…’ 

‘One of my many talents. I have hundreds.’ she smirks, a nod to the conversation they had all those months ago, when Dani came out to her. Dani smirks, and kisses Stella again. 

‘And here I thought that you changed the subject because my coming out to you made you uncomfortable,’ 

‘No, not at all. I changed the subject because I was well aware of the reason that you took that opportunity to come out to me…’

‘What reason?’ Dani asks, but she can already feel the blush creeping up her neck again. 

‘Because you wanted me. But it seemed I was already in a world of trouble for sleeping with a colleague, so I changed the subject before we got into the whole… sexuality, thing.’ 

‘So you think I wanted you?’ Dani grins.

‘Oh, please…’ Stella breathes in Dani’s ear, before kissing her neck, then her lips. Dani wrestles Stella on to her back and straddles her, never breaking the kiss, and Stella’s hands run down her back. 

Dani places a neat little kiss on Stella’s neck before whispering, almost inaudibly, ‘I wanted you,’

‘Oh, I know…’ Stella breathes, her hands in Dani’s hair now. Dani pushes herself up, her hands on Stella’s shoulders, and looks down at her, grinning impishly. An odd look flashes through Stella’s eyes, and suddenly she’s struggling to get out from under Dani as fast as she can. Dani backs up quickly, and Stella scrabbles away from her, leaning against the head of the bed, her dressing gown half off. 

’Stella… what’s wrong?’ Dani asks, pulling at the bedspread to cover herself, her nakedness suddenly feeling odd. 

‘Nothing, I’m fine,’ Stella's voice is calm and measured, and she shakes her head, avoiding Dani’s gaze. Being held down, that grin… it had brought her crashing back down to the reality of the fact that she had almost died at the hands of Spector only a fortnight ago. She curses him for ruining what would never have been an issue before. And to think, she was having so much fun! Dani is staring at her silently. She looks up to meet her gaze, and they stare at each other for a while. Usually, people flinch under Stella’s gaze, but Dani isn’t backing down, and she’s not saying anything either. ‘It just… brought it back.’ 

‘The attack?’ Dani asks, and realisation dawns on her and moulds her expression into shock and shame. ‘Oh god, oh god I am so sorry, I didn’t think, I didn’t even…’ 

’Shh,’ Stella says. She sees her opportunity to regain control over the situation. ‘Come here…’ she reaches out a hand, and Dani obliges, pulling the covers with her. Then, before Stella can say anything else, Dani’s soft, warm arms are around her, holding her close. 

‘I’m so sorry,’ Dani says softly. Stella is fighting every impulse to give in, she needs to be in control or she’ll break. Her body is stiff. ‘I’m so sorry,’ Dani repeats.

‘Please don’t apologise,’ Stella sighs into her neck. ‘You haven’t done anything wrong,’ she lifts her head to look into Dani’s eyes again, then kisses her tenderly, a lasting, singular kiss. 

‘I can leave, if you want…’

‘No. I’d like you to stay. But if you don’t mind… I’d like to just sleep.’

‘Of course… but I feel bad, I mean after what you just did to me, I feel like-’

‘Another time,’ Stella says, kissing her again. This makes Dani’s heart leap, because she had fully prepared herself on the journey to the hotel for the disappointment of being just another one of Stella’s ‘sweet nights’. They kiss softly for a little while, Stella trailing her fingers up and down Dani’s arms, tracing over her collarbones, her neck, her cheeks, stroking her hair, remarking more than once how soft Dani is, being met with a sweet smile every time. Stella might avoid women, but every time she gets this close to one, she always curses herself for doing so. Eventually, the lights are turned off and they settle in to sleep. Stella turns to her side, facing away from Dani, and not a few seconds later, Dani is wrapped around her. Then, for the first time since the attack, Stella sleeps the whole night through.


End file.
